Final Destination

Some people get on a plane. Then one of them has a vision of the plane crashing so they get off. The plane crashes. But then they all start dying one by one in very coincidental, Rube Goldberg machine-style ways. A bunch of people die and it's gruesome. There's also a John Denver song. Every sequel to this movie blows. I just saved you $6.

Fight Club

There's a dude who's stuck in corporate America. Then he meets this other guy who is wild and crazy and they start a club where they beat each other up. Then the club gets bigger and turns into a terrorist organization. The corporate guy and the crazy guy both have sex with a nasty, crazy chick. Then it turns out both dudes are the same guy. I just saved you $6.

Top Gun

Tom Cruise is the son of a hot-shot pilot who joins the navy and flies planes. He goes to special flight school (Top Gun) where he learns to embrace his flamboyant homosexuality with the other pilots. He takes a brief detour and instead has sex with his mannish teacher, then goes back to the boys after his BFF/lover goose dies after trying to raise the roof. Then they kill some Russians and things get really gay. I just saved you $6.

Mama Mia!

Some people live on a tropical resort island. Meryl Streep is such a slut that she doesn't know who the father of her daughter is. The daughter is getting married to some random guy and invites all three of her potential dads to the wedding. They sing a bunch, and mostly everyone is good at it except Pierce Brosnan. Abba is weird. I just saved you $6.

Paranormal Activity

A California couple buy a movie camera in an attempt to chronicle the woman's stalker-ghost friend. The ghost thing starts doing scary stuff. It makes foot prints and closes doors. Then it possesses the girl and kills the guy. I just saved you $6.

Red Dawn

Russia invades rural Colorado. Some football players run and hide in the woods. They get guns and kill Russians. America, Fuck Yah. I just saved you $6.

Transformers

Some alien robots come to Earth in search of a big cubic battery thing. The robots spend two hours fighting, blowing things up, and advertising new GM models. Megan Fox does NOT get naked. I just saved you $6.